Did you ever notice what you are noticing? Sitting in church one Sunday I could not help but notice the message on the back of a young man’s tee shirt. During the service he sat in the pew in front of me and each time we stood the message on his shirt was in front of me like a billboard. So I read it …. and read it and read it numerous times throughout the service. It read… ALL IN – ALL GAME and ALL SEASON.
After reading it so many times, the message seemed to be imprinted on my brain and I began thinking about what it really meant. ‘ALL IN- ALL GAME and ALL SEASON’.
It seemed to pertain to sports with a message for a specific team but I thought how well it could relate to any team; better yet, it was a great slogan for someone leading a team.
Today leaders hear so many Leadership tips and are constantly bombarded with different ideas and techniques with many being quite confusing. However, what counts in attaining success as a leader is based on your Relationship with your team, whether it is a team of a few, hundreds or maybe thousands.
The size of the team is not the true measure of success, Longevity is! How long team members remain with you is the reflection of your leadership ability. Retaining team members is not just based on members signing up, paying a dues or a fee but in the actual moment when they enroll themselves in the program or mission. That’s being … ‘ALL IN’…Committed!
‘ALL IN – ALL GAME and ALL SEASON’
Leaders understand that team members need to be ‘ALL IN’. Committed to the mission and culture of the team and the company. What keeps people involved is a sense of belonging, validation and purpose. The key is relationship building; the connection between the team leader and the team member.
Many years ago I read an article on relationship that for me was truly a golden nugget. The article explained the 5 Stages of a Relationship and over the years that information has helped me understand how to effectively develop a good relationship with a team member and taught me how to foster beneficially healthy, on-going relationships.
The 5 STAGES OF A RELATIONSHIP speaks to the ‘All IN, All GAME and (for) ALL SEASONS’ slogan that I read on the back of that Tee-shirt. So I thought why not take this opportunity to share it with you?
5 STAGES OF A RELATIONSHIP….
- INFATUATION – Stage 1….
At this stage the person joining the team is very impressed with you and the program. At first they think you ‘hung the moon’…. You are perfect! They are quit impressed with everything about you; your Position, your Talent and your Success … In their eyes you can do no wrong.
- MENTOR, MENTEE – Stage 2 This is when the team member truly engages in the program.
- They want to learn everything.
- They make themselves available to your schedule so they can learn.
- Wanting to know it all and value your guidance and training.
Stages 1 and 2 are like the ‘honeymoon time’; all positive and harmonious… a diamonds and dream mentality. During the Infatuation Stage and the Mentor/Mentee Stage, time is of the essence to make it beneficial for all – usually lasting for about 3 weeks.
3. DISILLUSIONMENT – Stage 3 It might be a surprise to learn how quickly a person can go from ‘wanting to be mentored’ to being doubtful. At stage 3 the team member starts to realize:
- You are real.
- You make mistakes and are human.
- The Hero that they thought you were turns out to be an ordinary person, thus they become disillusioned and much of their excitement is gone. This is where commitment to their goals matters.
- PARTING – Stage 4.
The success of the ‘Parting’ stage is based on how well you built a relationship of trust from the beginning with that team member. Always having communicated with them in terms of their benefits (goals). If not they will start to distance themselves from you, the team and the mission. During this stage you may notice:
- They won’t return your phone calls,
- They stop attending meetings and events. Sort MIA.
- Seem to be avoiding you. It is vital during this stage that you stay in touch with them.
- Send notes (hand written and mailed not emailed).
- Make sure they are informed about all upcoming events.
- Continue to speak highly of them to others. If this stage is handled well it will lead to a very successful outcome.
- Independence – Stage 5… At this stage people will distance themselves and become independent by either leaving you for another interest or they will choose to independently work beside you in more of a peer relationship. This is truly the ultimate success of a leader, to bring people to a point of independence and empowerment.
If you build a solid relationship of trust with team members from the beginning, when they reach the 5th stage they will stay with your 
organization as an independent leader. Working beside you while building their team.
“A leader uses every issue no matter how serious and sensitive to ensure that at the end of the debate we should emerge stronger and more united than ever.” – unknown
Being ‘ALL IN’ is Commitment.
Being ‘All Game’ is Involvement.
Being ‘ALL SEASON’ is Leadership.
Leaders take the lead and know what to expect, plan to succeed and follow through!
Thank you for being the Leader you are!!!!